Emerson. God, this jerk. What's his problem? He fancies himself a writer and filmmaker, but he's only ever done short films and local college magazines. He's apparently in love with college, because he's currently engaged in a nine-year on-again/off-again romance with his Bachelors Degree, and he can only ever seems to hold down mindless soul-crushing jobs. You know, when he's not wasting his time watching Retsupurae or touting the cultural philosophy behind Jason Voorhees or getting stupid tattoos.
Shall henceforce be known as Bobby Detroit, by his own decree. This is what happens with Emerson and Coffee. He has no idea how much coffee he has ingested ever, and his answer to "Do you want a cup of coffee?" is always "YES." Do not listen to him ever in relation to his coffee intake; him being allowed to drink coffee unsupervised leads to Memes and braindeath.