|Kyle Gibney/Wildchild : Suffering a crisis of faith, Kyle talks to Wanda Maximoff about leaving the X-Men. There are also donuts.
The question took her by surprise even though Kyle had warned it was going to be a weird one. She took a sip before answering and then snagged a donut. "I did and I did," she said, dropping the donut onto a nearby paper towel. "You were, I believe, still a student when I traded the leather pants for trenchcoat." She was looking at him, head tilted a little. "Is this idle curiosity or something else?"
"I mean, it's like totes not the same, because you went off to, you know." Kyle made pew-pew noises and fingerguns, and then hummed a few bars of the James Bond theme song. "But. I dunno I just am..." He huffed, and blew all the loose hair off his forehead. "Questioning. Am I going back on what I wanted to do, to protect kids like me, if I just can't do this anymore? I saw kids die and man I dunno I can see that again, but if I quit am I just gonna see more because I'm not there?"
She nodded, feeling a stab of sympathy. "First thing is that whatever you decide to do, you are not turning your back on anything or anyone if you hang up the leathers for something else. Since no one can know what impact our decisions will have - well, most of us - you need to do what is best for you." Wanda shook her head. "Those children didn't die because of you, Kyle, and whatever hurts come in the future will also not be because of you. So, you need to ask yourself what is it that you actually want once you get past that?"
"I don't even know, like.. my whole life's a mess. I wanted to teach, I wanted to like, make things better for kids and both of those got screwed up." Kyle said. "I mean what if they did die cause of me. Some of those kids were trying to join the X-Men." He was so hushed it was almost hard to make out his words. "Wanda, I don't wanna walk into a classroom and have some kid see me as a role model if it means they're gonna throw on some body armor and get shot."
"Then take some time." Reaching over, Wanda placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Put the leathers in the closet and walk away if you need to. No one will think less of you. You sometimes need to leave something behind in order to get proper perspective of it. And at some point, you might find yourself looking back and thinking it might be time to put them back on and rejoin the team. Or you might realize that it's better left off and that your life is on a different path."
Wanda leaned closer, "We will always be here. You do realize that, yes? In some form or fashion because leaving the team does not mean you leave the people. And it does not mean you are forgetting sacrifices made in the past."
"I probably gotta talk to Scott." and when had Mr Summers become Scott anyway, Kyle wondered to himself. "I mean, I know if I take a break no one's gonna kick me out, I mean.." He gestured. "You. But. You know, it's just, am I giving up cause it's hard, or am I deciding it's just not right for me anymore, and I can't tell."
Leaning back, Wanda held her mug in both hands and gave a small shrug. It was a very European gesture - it didn't mean she didn't care but, instead, was more 'what can you do?'. "Don't you owe it to yourself to find out? If you do nothing, you will spin your tires trying to figure it out. But if you should act and realize it was for a reason you are not comfortable with you can always fix it."
"I've been spinning my tires a while." Kyle admitted. "I guess maybe getting out and pushing the car doesn't mean I can't get back on the road, even if I gotta take another route." He pondered that for a moment. "That metaphor's a little cliche, huh?"
"Only if the metaphor doesn't actually work," Wanda smiled. "But when it does, it just means it's accurate for the situation. Trust me, it is better than calling it a mid-life crisis."
"Wanda, I'm not even thirty. Jesus." Kyle made a show of trying to pull his hair into his face to look for greys. "Aw man I just talked myself into being responsible. What kind of millennial am I?"